I am on a huge journey of becoming my most empowered self—and if I’m being honest, it’s uncomfortable. It’s challenging everything I used to know.
I connected with someone recently who was able to truly see me and my patterns. She asked me, “Why do you make yourself small?” And honestly, I’m so grateful for her honesty.
Sometimes we get so stuck in our behaviors and patterns that we can’t fully see what’s holding us back. Having someone reflect that back to us—someone who can see from a bird’s-eye view—can change everything.
But we also have to be willing to hear it.
We have to get out of our ego, accept where we are, and be willing to change if we truly want to live our best life.
Because we cannot overcome what we refuse to accept.
There were so many ways I made myself small—and it all traced back to my childhood.
My mother made me feel like I couldn’t be myself. She invalidated my feelings and my voice. She would call me selfish and make everything about her.
So I learned to abandon myself.
I learned to people-please.
I learned to stay quiet.
I learned to freeze.
That “freeze” response became my way of coping. I didn’t have a way to escape, so I shut down. I numbed out.
She was dealing with her own unhealed trauma, and I became the closest outlet for it.
This was generational trauma—patterns that no one before me had the courage to break.
But it ends with me.
I now understand that I wasn’t put here to be popular—I was put here to be the one who breaks the cycle. The black sheep.
And I will gladly be the black sheep if it means creating a life rooted in love, truth, and emotional safety—for myself and for my children.
I developed habits of constant overthinking and anxiety, especially when facing anything new.
But I’ve realized something important:
That version of me was created in survival.
And I’m not in survival anymore.
If I want to step into my goals and dreams, I have to move outside of my comfort zone.
I had gotten a gym membership months ago but barely went. I would overthink it. I would feel like I didn’t belong.
Once again… I was making myself small.
But today, I went to the gym—and it felt amazing.
I didn’t let the thoughts take over:
- “What if people are watching me?”
- “What if I look stupid?”
- “What if I use the machine wrong?”
- “What if I don’t belong?”
Those thoughts were once protection mechanisms rooted in trauma.
But they no longer serve me.
I used to believe I needed to be perfect in order to build my business.
I thought I had to know everything before I could start.
So I would sit and study for hours, trying to learn and absorb everything. Then I’d get overwhelmed, frustrated, and end up shutting down—sometimes even crying.
That wasn’t growth. That was pressure.
I’ve learned that I need balance.
That behavior was coming from a place of needing to prove myself—of not feeling worthy enough to step into this next chapter.
And it showed up everywhere.
As a mother.
As an employee.
As a business owner.
I constantly told myself I wasn’t doing enough.
But the truth is—I wasn’t failing.
My thinking was.
Because no matter how capable you are, if your inner dialogue is disempowering, you will hold yourself back.
And I realized something powerful:
I was speaking to myself the same way my mother used to speak to me.
That stops now.
Now, I move differently.
I make time for what matters.
I time-block my days.
I take care of myself.
I go to the gym.
I meditate.
I journal.
I write.
I spend intentional, quality time with my kids.
And most importantly…
I no longer feel the need to prove my worth.
Because I am already worthy.
I also realized I was sabotaging myself in other ways—like not taking care of my health or holding myself back from fully showing up.
Why?
Because I didn’t want to shine too brightly.
I didn’t want to trigger others.
But that is no longer my responsibility.
It is not my job to make others comfortable by dimming my light.
If my authenticity triggers something in someone else, that is theirs to heal—not mine to shrink for.
I am done abandoning myself.
I choose me now.
If you are someone who tends to overthink everything, let me share what I’ve learned:
Action is the antidote.
We’ve become so disconnected from our bodies—so used to overthinking—that we forget we are meant to move, to create, to express.
That stuck energy? It has to go somewhere.
So move your body.
Take action.
Start before you feel ready.
Please stop dimming your light.
Please stop abandoning yourself for others.
Please stay true to who you are.
Please be kind—to yourself and to others.
Please stop judging yourself.
And most importantly…
Please start this journey of becoming your most empowered self.
I promise you—it is worth it.
Picture by Pixabay
