We hear the phrase “step into your power” all the time.
But what does that actually mean?
Because for a long time, I thought I was in my power.
I thought being strong meant keeping the peace, avoiding conflict, and making sure everyone else was okay—even if I wasn’t.
I thought being a “good person” meant being easygoing, understanding, and accommodating.
But the truth is… I wasn’t in my power at all.
I was abandoning myself.
What Being “In Your Power” Is NOT
Before we can understand what power truly is, we have to clear up what it isn’t—because most of us were taught the wrong definition.
Being in your power is not:
- Controlling everything around you
- Being the loudest voice in the room
- Forcing outcomes or trying to make people agree with you
- Being perfect or always having it all together
A lot of what we think is power… is actually fear.
Control is fear trying to feel safe.
True power is safety that already exists within you.
What Being In Your Power Actually Means
Being in your power is not about dominance or control—it’s about self-trust, alignment, and inner safety.
It’s the ability to:
- Trust your decisions without constantly seeking validation
- Stay grounded in who you are, even when others don’t understand
- Honor your truth, even when it feels uncomfortable
- Stop abandoning yourself to make others comfortable
Being in your power means you are no longer outsourcing your worth, your voice, or your identity.
You come back to yourself.
Signs You May Be Disconnected From Your Power
Most people don’t realize when they’ve given their power away—because it shows up in subtle, everyday ways.
You might be disconnected from your power if you:
- Over-apologize for things that don’t require an apology
- Say yes when you really want to say no
- Second-guess your decisions
- Feel guilty for resting or taking time for yourself
- Look to others for approval before trusting your own instincts
- Stay quiet to avoid conflict
- Ignore your intuition, even when it’s strong
I’ve been there.
There were times in my life where I thought I was being kind…
but I was actually betraying myself.
How We Lose Our Power Without Realizing It
The truth is, we don’t just wake up one day and decide to give our power away.
We learn it.
We learn it through:
- Childhood conditioning (“be good,” “don’t be too much”)
- Relationships where we felt unsafe expressing ourselves
- Situations where being quiet or agreeable kept the peace
At some point, it became safer to disconnect from ourselves than to fully be who we are.
And that pattern follows us into adulthood—until we become aware of it.
Why This Matters
When you’re disconnected from your power, your life starts to feel heavy.
You may feel:
- Resentful
- Burnt out
- Unseen or unheard
- Disconnected from who you really are
You might find yourself in relationships or environments where you feel small, controlled, or uncertain.
Because when you’re not rooted in yourself… everything external starts to define you.
And that’s exhausting.
Reclaiming Your Power Starts Here
Taking your power back doesn’t mean becoming hard, aggressive, or closed off.
It doesn’t mean you stop being kind.
It means you stop abandoning yourself.
It means you begin to:
- Listen to your inner voice
- Honor your needs
- Trust your decisions
- Take up space without apology
Your power isn’t something you earn.
It’s something you return to.
A Question to Reflect On
I want to leave you with this:
Where in your life are you abandoning yourself to keep others comfortable?
Sit with that.
Because wherever that is…
that’s where your power is waiting for you.
This is just the beginning.
In the next part of this series, we’re going to dive into the exact ways you may be giving your power away—without even realizing it.
And once you see it… everything starts to shift.
Picture by Pixabay
